Get Up and Win the Race!

A man who spoke in sacrament meeting today read a poem called, "The Race."  This poem was one that I first heard five or six years ago, as a laurel.  I loved the poem at the time, but I had forgotten about it until today.  It always amazes me all of the little things that my Savior adds to my daily life to let me know that He is there and that He loves me.  Reading this poem over the pulpit was a relatively simple act, but today it spoke numbers to me about how much the Savior loves me, and that message could not have come at a better time. 

The poem is kind of long, so I won't include the whole thing here, but if you'd like, you can read it here.  The poem is about a little boy at a race.  He desires to come in first place to make his dad proud.  He starts off the race at the front of the pack, right on pace to win; however, he comes across a dip in the path and falls flat on his face.  While he's humiliated, he realizes that he can still catch up with the others.  In his hurry to catch up, the boy falls two more times.  Each time the boy rises again and keeps going, at the father's encouragement to, "Get up and win that race."  Even though he comes in last place, the boy's father says, "To me, you won.  You rose each time you fell."

I can relate to this boy in so many ways.  Last year at this time I kind of felt like the boy at the beginning.  I was right on pace to "win the race."  I was about to graduate from BYU - something that I had dreamed about since I was really young - in a field that I had truly grown to love.  I had submitted applications to grad schools and I had high hopes that I would be accepted to continue to my education at BYU.  When I did not get accepted into BYU, it was like the first time the boy fell.  It was devastating and kind of humiliating, but I soon realized that it was something that could be overcome.  While it was not what I planned, I could still catch up and "win the race."

My first semester of grad school provided a few more stumbling blocks.  I felt like I was knocked down several times, but each time I was able to get up and keep going with relative ease.  This semester has been different.  I've had some internal struggles that I have never dealt with to this degree before.  It often feels like as soon as I get back up, something is there to knock me down again.  I often start to question if I can keep getting up, if I really am strong enough to keep going.

In the January 2012 Ensign, President Monson said, "Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.' "  This simple message is one of great hope for me.  Everyday is not going to be perfect.  I'm going to fall.  Then get up and fall again.  But the important thing is that I keep getting up, keep trying to go forward, with faith in Christ.  This poem today helped me realize that this is not something I am doing on my own.  My Heavenly Father, my Savior, my family, and so many others are there to help me, "Get up and win that race."

Dear Self,

Let's make it easier on the both of us and avoid getting full blown sick this week.  Feel free to do what you need to starting next Tuesday.  Until then I need you at full capacity.  Thanks.  You're the best!

Sincerely,
Kristen

What I Wish I Would Have Known

I am not sure what inspired it, but I decided to peruse through some of my old pictures from high school on my computer.  They bring back so many memories.  High school is an interesting time, really.  Looking back, I can see it was an incredible time of growth for me, one that set the stage for the next stage of my life: college.  I had some incredible friends in high school and the pictures I saw reminded me of some memories that I believe will always be important to me.  We had some great times together.  But I was also reminded that high school is not easy.  Anyone who tells you it is clearly does not remember what it is really like.  My stroll down memory lane made me reflect on how much I have changed and grown in the past five years.  Here are five lessons that I wish I would have understood then (along with the picture that inspired them):

Lesson #1: You Don't Have to be Perfect to be Important

Yes, that is an ACT prep book in my hand.  Yes, I was on a plane, on my way to Disneyland.  And yes, I was going to be taking the ACT on my vacation, in California.  That perfect GPA and those extra few points on the ACT meant everything to me at the time, and I often based my own sense of self-worth on how well I met my unrealistic definition of "success."  I spent so much time stressing about being "perfect" that I forgot to take time to celebrate my successes.  I did not fully understand that my "achievements" were not what defined who I am.  It was the way I treated other people, my hard work, and my relationship with my Savior that truly defined who I was.  Looking back now, those things seem so unimportant, so trivial.  And I am willing to bet that my friends from high school would not say that they were friends with me because I got good grades.  

Lesson #2: Enjoy the Simple Moments 

This picture depicts one of my favorite memories from high school.  It happened rather spontaneously, without planning, and without inviting large groups of people.  It was just me and two of my best friends (I cannot remember where Emmilie was for this one...) and an elementary school playground.  I have come to realize that these are the moments that I live for.  The moments when you are with people who you can be yourself with.  The moments when you can forget any worries you might have about the future and just enjoy being together.  The moments when you realize how blessed you really are.  My favorite memories throughout my life often come in simple "moments," without announcement, and with very little grandeur.

Lesson #3: Be Grateful for the Friends Who Are Always There 

These three girls were my staple through high school.  I could have never gotten through those four years without them.  I could always count on them to be there, even when I thought I could do things alone.  And I have learned that I love having friends that no matter how long we've been apart, when we are together, it is as though no time has past.

Lesson #4: Be Grateful for the "Behind the Scenes" People 

I don't think I understood at the time how cool it was that both of these ladies took time out of their busy schedules to be at my high school graduation.  They did not have to be; I would not have thought any less of them if they were not.  But there they were, quietly offering their support and encouragement.  I know I wouldn't be where I am today without my "other moms."




Lesson #5: Family is Everything

I was never one of those teenagers who was constantly fighting with her parents, but I also don't think I realized just how much my parents cared about and just how much they were there to support me.  It is incredible that there are two people on this earth who love me unconditionally.  They have done so much to get me to where I am today, and I would not be the person I am without their support and love. I have begun to realize over the past four years just how ingenious the organization of the family is, and I am so grateful for mine.